It’s February 15th and I hope everyone had a very pleasant Valentine’s Day. Did you show your partner how much they mean to you? Or perhaps you had a friends’ day? Or maybe you said “fuck everyone else, today is for me”, drew yourself a bath, and thought about how much you loved you. What was once reserved only for those with an S.O, Valentine’s Day cheer is now being spread to everyone. I noticed that this year’s non-traditional Valentine’s Days’ were larger than ever, with a huge focus on self-love. Everyone curated their own version of the self-love Valentine’s Day, mostly a magical collection of skin care products worthy of turning even the most modest bathroom into an epic at-home spa.
As someone who has often struggled with self-love in the past, I know it’s a little more complicated than a face mask and rose-scented bath. However, it’s a decent start. But Valentine’s Day is over. So, it’s time get out of the tub and let the real self-love begin. ‘Cuz just like in a two-person relationship, you can’t be nice one day of the year and expect it to make up for 364 days of shit. Self-love should be shown all year round, not just on consumerist holidays.
Start with treating yourself like you would a loved one. I am 100% guilty of not doing this. I used to doubt myself and my abilities often. I used to say the word can’t a lot. But I could always and easily build up a person I care about when they felt unsure or insecure. And while I still struggle, I have been making real efforts to trust and believe in myself. Acting like your own best friend should be the first step on the path to self-love.
Speaking of friends, let’s learn a lesson from Uma: don’t let people who treat you badly have a place in your life. You should only surround yourself with people who support you. It’s not always easy to spot a ‘bad’ friend, but if you are consistently unhappy with the choices you make when you are around someone, then perhaps it’s time to cut them loose. I know we are all responsible for our own actions but there are people who know what buttons to push that activate your self-destruct. And, generally speaking, those people who don’t want the best for you don’t deserve any of your time or energy.
Guess who does deserve your time: YOU. Make time for yourself! In a world where everyone expects something from you, it’s easy to spend every waking hour doing your ‘obligations’ and forgetting to take care of yourself. Proper food and sleep should be obvious first priorities, but it’s important to do things that are just for you. Watching Netflix because it makes you happy, going for a run to clear your head, mediating, or yes, taking that bath and doing a face mask. Whatever it is, try to make it a weekly (or daily) ritual. If you can give your time to everyone else, you should be able to carve a chunk that’s just for you, too.
Hopefully, we (myself included) can continue to ride the self-love train well past Valentine’s Day. And, who knows, if this continues throughout 2018, we could have a humanitarian Valentine’s in 2019.