I often think that being a tomboy and an independent woman are synonymous. I know they’re not, but I sometimes feel like they are one and the same. Being a tomboy is more than just style, it’s an attitude. Self-sufficiency and confidence just comes with the territory and it’s always suited me. My previous boyfriends seemed to have an issue with that, and there is an episode of How I Met Your Mother that can explain this better than I could.
Ted starts dating the stereotype of a girly-girl; whiny, uses baby talk, acts the innocent little girl with long blonde hair, big eyelashes and a coy smile. Robin, Ted’s ex-girlfriend and independent tomboy, asks what the appeal is. Barney (the sleazy ladies man and, also, Robin’s ex-boyfriend) answers simply with “who’s your daddy?” LOL. Ted goes on to say that it’s nice to feel needed, and this new girl makes him feel needed (all the time). When he was with Robin he never felt that she needed him at all. The remark obviously leaves a bruise and she is left contemplating every failed relationship.
I can completely empathize with Robin. I didn’t grow up dreaming of the perfect guy or the perfect wedding, and 2.5 kids. Instead, my mind would wander to freedom, doing my own thing, living alone, decorating my space and making it all mine. With every boyfriend, I have always felt like ‘the man’ in the relationship. Always for different reasons, but one complaint was always the same: I’m too independent and they didn’t feel loved. It didn’t bother me at first, but in the end I just felt like saying “man up!”.
Back to the episode. Robin asks Barney if he ever felt like she needed him when they were together. His answer: “No, I never felt like you needed me at all. It was awesome. No one is going to say who’s your daddy to [you]”. This relieves Robin (and myself) proving that some men prefer an equal as a partner than a damsel in distress. Ted inevitably ends up dumping the blonde when her ‘little girl’ act gets old (pun intended).
So, today, on Valentine’s day, I would like to dedicate this post to my boyfriend. Who never complains about my independence and, can, in fact, give me a run for my money. Who makes me feel like the girl (in a good way, not the needy, constantly questioning everything way), who never complains about me borrowing his clothes, wearing mens’ clothes or asking him to change when our outfits are too similar. Love you BAE.
– Dress like a man, act like an independent woman – KL